A Heart Check

What kind of heart do you have? We went out to our regular Chinese buffet last night and, as often seems to happen at this place, we ended up in this philisophical discussion on whether it's better to think with your head, or your heart. I, admittedly, have an extremely soft heart, almost to a fault. Kevin, on the other hand, has more of a "hard" heart. Now before you interpret that to mean that he's cold or unfeeling or unloving, let me stop you to explain. I tend to let my emotions rule (or attempt to rule) my judgement. I will make decisions or react on an emotional basis, and not always a logical one. My darling husband, however, thinks like the lawyer he wants to be. He has a much stronger faith in our judicial system, as well as the belief that all are entitled to a fair trial. He's an advocate for the "innocent until proven guilty" whereas I have to admit that I'm sometimes prone to the "guilty until proven innocent theory." Does that make me unAmerican? I don't think it does. I respect the legal system and I recognize it for the structure and support it provides to our country and our government. But then there's that other side of me....

Our conversation last night hinged around the story that broke this week about the 11 Ohio children who were being kept in cages. These children, all adopted and all with special needs, were kept locked in "enclosures" at night. The parents claim that they were doing nothing wrong, that the children were capable of hurting themselves and others and that this was the only way to keep them safe. So far, no criminal charges have been filed. My reaction? How is this possible??? How is it possible that 4 days after finding these children and (thankfully) removing them from the home, the legal system still has not stepped forward to charge these parents? The message sent by this lack of action is that it's okay if we lock our children up, there are circumstances where children need to be locked in cages. Really? Is that really what we think is acceptable? I've taught abused children, I've seen and dealt with the aftermaths of abused children. Removing them from the home isn't enough. The parents need to be punished. There should be no question in our minds that this is a crime. These are people not to be trusted with children. A "fair" trial gives an expensive lawyer the opportunity to slick through a legal loophole and allow these parents to go unpunished....while the children are scarred permanently. So says my "soft" heart.

It's hard to convince me that there is a flip side to this situation, but Kevin, with his legal perspective played Devil's advocate with me last night. He claims that no matter how minor or how horrific the crime, everybody has a right to a fair trial. The parents, then, are not yet guilty. It is the job of the prosecuting attorney to prove that they've actually committed a crime, while the defense attorney upholds his clients' claim that they were merely protecting their children, as good parents should. His (Kevin's) argument is that this is what our country is based on. That it might be me in this situation someday, that I may come around a curve in the dark and hit an elderly lady and be charged with vehicular homicide. Okay, touche. Point taken. And that's his "hard" heart speaking.

So who's right? Well, it's going to be hard to convince me, in this situation, that the parents are innocent. And I struggle with the idea that a fair trial means that the parents have the opportunity to walk away and the children are left scarred. But that's me. That's the part of me that spends most of my day with 9 year olds. That's the part of me that makes me good at what I do. And Kevin, with his firm sense of patriotism and judicial justice, will continue to lovingly mock me for my desire to hug every hurt child I come across. But in a way, he's right. Would I want to live in a country where there was no fair trial and law (and punishment) was brought down by purely emotional people like me? No. So we need both. And we hope that those "hard" hearts find spouses, friends, or family members to soften their hearts a little and maintain that balance.

What kind of heart are you?