Reflections

Kevin and I met as freshman in college and carried on a long-distance relationship for the next 31/2 years. I think we knew pretty early on that we had something unique going. By the end of our junior year in college, we knew what we were heading towards. It wasn't a matter of "if", but "when." At one point, Kevin mentioned that he wasn't comfortable buying a ring, because he might choose something I didn't like. I remember responding that if that was the case, he should take me ring shopping so he would know what I liked....and that I wanted the full deal...bended knee, ring, and everything. And then that was the last I heard of the whole thing for a long time. :-P

In October of 2003, I went to stay with him in DC (by that time, a regular occurence) and to take a PRAXIS test, which is the test series required for a teaching license. He dropped me off at the testing center, telling me he'd be back when the test was over and we'd go to a local mall for lunch. He picked me up, as planned, and we headed towards the mall. I was feeling a little frustrated, the test having been long and difficult. On the drive over, Kevin quite calmly announced that he was "thinking we could go to jewelry stores while we were there, too." I think I chattered the rest of the way there. I felt completely giddy and I know I probably sounded ridiculous. We went to several stores and after I convinced Kevin that I did not want (or need) a $3000 ring, we found one we both really loved. And then we left the mall. And again...that was the last I heard of the whole thing for a long time. :-P

One weekend, several months later, I finally lost my cool after Kevin said that he wanted to wait until "we had settled in our new places" in Virginia Beach before he proposed. This meant fall of 2004. I was so upset that my one of my normally shy roommate IM'd him and told him that (evidently) he'd better do something soon. It was then that he revealed to her his plan. But she, of course, didn't reveal anything to me.

That year, the Diplomat's Ball fell on my 22nd birthday. I refused to share such an "important" event (my birthday) with the Dip Ball celebration and had asked Kevin that we celebrate my birthday later. We decided that I would go to DC for the Dip Ball on Friday, and then leave the next day to drive up and spend the rest of my birthday weekend with my family. I was finishing up my student teaching during this time, which took up most of my energy. The week before the Ball, Kevin kept telling me that he wanted to go see the monuments on Friday night. The weather forecast was predicting rain and I put up a fuss all week. He was annoyingly insistent and I finally gave in, grumbling about how much I hate getting wet. Then, three days before I was to drive to DC for the weekend, I rode over a nail on campus and put a hole in my tire. I called Kevin that night and told him I might not be able to make the trip if I couldn't get the tire fixed in time. Again, he was very unsympathetic to my distress and told me he already had the tickets and I had to come. I fussed at him for not having more compassion, that I was the one with the flat tire. At the same time, he kept telling me that it would be a "night to remember." I had a pretty good idea that something was up, but I still spent a good part of the week feeling miffed at his attitude.

I taught on Friday and then drove down after school, parking in the suburbs and taking the train to Dupont Circle, where Kevin was to pick me up. I arrived hungry and a little tired, lugging a garment bag with a ballgown, and an overnight bag. It was humid, raining periodically. To my further annoyance (noticing a theme here?) Kevin was there, but the car was not. He explained that he had parked it a couple blocks away. He thought we should grab a bite to eat at Subway and then go get the car. I wanted to get the car, then come back and eat, so that we didn't have to carry the big bulky garment bag and my overnight bag around. But Kevin won again, and we ate first. Then trudged off again to find the car. We stopped at the curb outside the Washington Hilton, where I was informed that the bad news was that we weren't taking the car. But the good news was that we were staying at the Hilton. Oh...well...in that case all is forgiven. The room he had reserved also held 2 bottles of wine (we have differing tastes), wine glasses, a dozen red roses, Godiva chocolate on the pillows, and a cutesy birthday card. I had known he had something up his sleeve and was relieved to know that my instincts were still accurate. And how sweet!

I was supposed to get ready quickly, so we could go see the monuments before heading to the Ball, but a glass of wine slowed me down. When I was finally ready to leave, decked out in full formalwear, we made it as far as the hallway before Kevin remembered something he had to go back for. Then we made it as far as the elevator before he remembered something else. Then we arrived in the car, only to find it low on gas, and we had to drive around and find a gas station. Arriving at the monuments, Kevin pulled the car up to the curb...right next to a huge puddle, which I managed to climb over in my floor length gown. We went to the Lincoln Memorial, which, despite all my earlier protestations, really was pretty. It was getting dark as we climbed the steps and we spent a few minutes walking around, attracting stares from all the tourists also there that night. Took some pictures in front of the memorial. Went back out to gaze down the Mall from the front steps. Kevin began to tell me something about how the arrangement of the monuments on the mall is important because....and then he kept talking....and talking....and talking....and I started to wonder, "What is he going on about?" But I'm a good girlfriend so I smiled and nodded and tried to listen, waiting for the time when I could open the Happy Birthday bag he was holding. Eventually, he said we would open it together, one layer at a time. The first layer was tissue paper. Then I pulled out a jewelry bag (Jewelry is always good....I'd gotten jewelry before). Then he pulled out a layer of tissue paper. Then I pulled out a white box. Then he opened the white box to reveal a small wooden box. And BAM....I figured it out. He was working his way down to one knee when I started to open the box and he cried, "Not yet!" So I waited, saying "Ohmygodohmygodohmygod". The next words are ours to keep, but they ended with "Will you marry me?" I swear I said yes. Kevin will tell you that I didn't say anything for several moments.

Pictures were snapped. People clapped. Teenage girls fell all over themselves. It sounds cliched, but it really was perfect. Not because there were no hitches. But because there were hitches. My whining about the weather, Kevin's nervousness, the empty gas tank, the huge puddle of water outside the car. It wouldn't have been the same without all those little quirks.

I married young and so was the first in my social circle to cross that milestone. I'm watching peers go through the same thing now, and I've stopped to reflect. I love being married. I love being married to this man. Quirks and all. So this rather lengthy entry is a dedication to the man who lives to make me smile and laugh in that surprised way that's spontaneous and controlled way. And who brought me flowers and candy last week.

To more "quirks."

~mtb