Unanswered Prayers

While eating my pizza tonight, I watched Judge Judy (is that pathetic?) Normally, this would not be a reason to blog, but this particular case involved a young man, whose prom date, a 16 year old, stood him up 15 minutes before he was to pick her up, because she had an allergic reaction. Then, however, she went to a friend's house where she watched movies and "hung out." The date sued for the prom costs (tux rental and flowers). Mom, who appeared with the daughter, never accepted responsibility.

It's been almost 6 years since my prom and I won't ever forget that night. I found myself looking back on my own prom and wanting to tell these two people, "Your prom night will fade quickly. It seems like everything in the moment, but it fades."

My own prom was....not the Cinderella night I had imagine at the time. First, not ever being a part of the "in" crowd, I asked my date to the prom. He was a friend, and two years younger (a sophomore). I paid for the tickets (including the catered dinner) and the limo rented with several other couples. Why the limo? Because my date had his learner's permit, but not his license, and I couldn't see myself driving the 4o minutes to the event in a full length ball gown. Next, my high school had a rule that if you didn't show up to school on Friday, unless you had a doctor's excuse, you couldn't attend prom on Saturday. Friday morning, my date was nowhere to be found. I called him in a panic that afternoon, turns out he had a legitimate doctor's appointment. This meant that before we were allowed to enter the prom, he had to present this excuse at the front table. Wonderful. He, by the way, forgot the note and I worried all the way up that he wouldn't be able to get in. Luckily, they were swamped when we got there and sorta waved us through without checking the "do not allow" list.

Saturday involved everything that preparing for your senior prom involves. Hair, nails, dress (which was ridiculously expensive), etc. I went to HIS house to pick him up, he wasn't dressed yet. And his cat got out the front door. So he and my mom had to chase the cat down. Finally dressed and left and after another round of pictures at another friend's house, we were off in the limo.

Dinner was nice, but I don't really remember what we had. The dancing was fun, but I don't remember it as being remarkable. Truly, the best part of the evening was spending time with those people whom would all be heading in different directions, come graduation in June. My date had the same thought on his mind. He spent a good part of the evening eyeing the prom queen, another friend of mine. He held himself in check through the evening and was, for the most part, (mostly) attentive.

Arriving back in town in the limo, we got into my car to head to another friend's house for an all-night after prom party. He didn't open my door. In fact, he got in the passenger seat and didn't even unlock my door. I opened the driver's door and then opened the back door to drop my purse on the back seat...and the driver's door closed on my hand, which was resting on the door frame as I leaned into the back. The door closed completely, landing about halfway down my manicured nail. He never moved. Not until I pounded on the window. Upon opening the door and taking the pressure off my nail, blood spurted everywhere. And I mean everywhere. On the window, on the steering wheel, and all down the front of my pastel yellow gown. And continued spurting. Uncontrollably. My date looked kinda sick. I had to go back into the house we were at to wrap my finger in a towel and hold pressure on it for a good 20 minutes before the bleeding slowed from a blood to a trickle. He looked sick the whole time. Finally got the bleeding to slow down enough that a bandaid would do the trick. Or so I thought. I bled all the way to the afterprom party. I was driving and we hit heavy fog, so I missed my turn and the trip took twice as long as it should.

Finally arriving at the party, amidst the "oooohh, what were you doing?!" teasing, you would think my date would have some sympathy. Oh no. Prom Queen was there. And to her side my noble date did cling for the rest of the night. They "officially" started dating about a week later.

I don't regret going to my prom. I don't regret the memories I have, even the less than stellar ones. But a few years of experience tells me that it's not the all-important event it seems at the time.

A year later, when Kevin and I had just recently started dating, we were home visiting with my family. My old prom date showed up at the door (I hadn't seen him since I had graduated almost a year before) and asked to see me. I went out to greet him, with Kevin standing sentry behind me. I introduced the two guys. It was awkward. Conversation was stilted. I didn't ever find out why he showed up out of nowhere. I don't know what he was thinking. But seeing him brought back that entire night and I didn't feel any anger or regret. But even at that moment, I remember thinking that I was silly for having ever tried to "fake a relationship" (as all non-boy/girlfriend prom dates are), and then, a few months later, finding something that even in its early stages felt like something that was turning into the real thing.

"Some of God's greatest gifts are all too often unanswered... Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers ." ~Garth Brooks