Where'd the Bottom Go?

Last summer, I went back to school to pad my Bachelor's in Education with a Master's in Reading. About 3 months ago, I started thinking that maybe I was on the wrong track. On Wednesday morning, alot of things suddenly came to an unexpected head and the conclusion I came to was this:

I don't think I have the job I'm meant to have.

And suddenly the floor (seemingly) dropped out of my world. I'm not doing the right thing? What do you mean I'm not doing the right thing? For about 15 years, I've thought I would make teaching my career. To admit this isn't the right path for me has thrown me into a bit of a tailspin.

To be fair to me, I still want to stay in the education field. I've decided to continue my Master's but change my concentration to library science and become certified as a media specialist.

What does that mean?

I want to pursue a career as a librarian. The word draws up images of drab dress, glasses on a chian around the neck, and incessant "sssshhhh"-ing. Not exactly fitting to my personal image of myself. That might be in part, why I've been fighting it for the last several months.

So lots of questions have come up in the last couple days. Do I continue going to work full-time and take classes at night, earning the degree in approximately three years? Do I work part time next year and push through the program more quickly (approximately a year and a half)? How much of my former grad work and experience can carry over to this new field?

I've made an appointment to meet with the Library Science department chair at the university I'm currently attending, put feelers out for part-time positions this fall (even while still considering keeping my current position), and applied to work as a media assistant for summer school this summer.

It's been a whirlwind couple of days. This weekend I have lesson plans to write, an 8-16 page paper to finish, progress reports to complete....and we're traveling to DC for the weekend.

It's enough to leave me dizzy.